You Know i should use this place more often maybe? But i just never think i have anything worth posting.
Well it all started last night when a friend I am very close too and I had a talk which gave me a -lot- to think about. All well and good except for the fact when I try to sleep, my head keeps bouncing those thoughts around. So it gets to morning and I try and get said friends attention, he snaps at me cos he's in a shitty mood.(I don't think he thinks or realises that he actually did snap at me)... Anyway, I overreact slightly due to lack of sleep and a realisation I made which I will go into in a bit, he gets more pissed of with me I get more grumpy about something I haven't told him yet and now we're barely acknowledging each other. Which sucks because I want to apologise and explain things.
On to the realisation I made:
Ok first with something I already know "I SUCK WITH MONEY!!!!" This is common place knowledge to me, i'm trying to improve but it's a slow process for an ex compulsive buyer. Anyway Today is my sisters birthday, happy birthday cilla. She lives in townsville...Anyway i was supposed to be going up there to see her for said birthday, but me being idiot me put money aside for it with the knowledge i was changing house soon and forgot to incorporate that into my calculations. Next thing i know her birthdays around the corner and i'm high and dry. Not too bad i thought i can call her and wish her a happy 18th.(Which i did.)
What i didn't realise is how much it would effect me, having made it to all her b'days previously to not be able to be there with her. Not only that but I didn't even know what to get her for a gift!!!! Anyway the actual realisiation I made was that if I had of been smart and thought on it a bit, I could have had some flowers or a cake delivered to her house from a local shop up there and all it would have cost was a phone call and about $50... This realisation is the main contributor to my current mood cos now i'm beating myself up for not thinking it up sooner, as well as the fact that now i'm at odds with someone I care a great deal for because i couldn't keep my emotions locked up.
Anyway thats enough from me, If i post more i post more but i dxon't knwo if anyones listening or if anyone wants to see me write more.
Current Location: Australia, Melbourne
Current Mood: crappy
Current Music: Anything to bring me up.